When parents want their children to behave appropriately, they will rely on certain discipline strategies that will ensure the good behavior of their off-springs. All of these strategies are positive – most of the times – and don’t mean punishment. They should be based on talking parents and children that listen.
But raising children is hard, and a parent might not always know what the best approach is. That’s why, in the following paragraphs, we will detail to you some parenting tips that will help you discipline your children.
Communication Is Important
As your children begin to mature and to understand you, you should learn how to communicate with them. The way you explain to them the things that are good and those that are bad is very important. You must make sure that you take a simple approach when communicating with your child.
This means that you should go for a form of open communication – basically, explaining to them everything that must be explained, without leaving information behind or keeping it hidden.
They must understand clearly what will happen if they don’t behave accordingly – and you also mustn’t turn a blind eye when it’s time for consequences.
Choose the Way of Positive Parenting
Do you want to know how to be a good parent? That’s easy – be positive when raising your children. Don’t frighten them with punishments or any other negative ways of discipline.
Positive parenting means that you should not apply irrational or unnatural consequences because of your children’s misbehavior. Treat every matter in a logical way. For example, if your child spends more time playing on the computer than allowed, you should not forbid him or her using it – instead, tell them that the next day they will be allowed less time on the computer, to make it up for today.
This will make them more responsible and pay more attention when it comes to something that’s important to them.
Moreover, sending them to their room if they’ve misbehaved shouldn’t be the way you approach the situation. Instead, search for an immediate consequence rather than giving them the time alone they need after you’ve scolded them.
Ask for Parenting Advice
There’s no doubt – parenting is hard!
While you might dislike someone who’s telling you how to raise your children, it’s important to listen to this kind of advice from time to time. Furthermore, if you are looking for such advice, it is recommended that you call your parents or meet with your closest friends and ask them for your help.
You may be new to the world of parenting, but your parents are not. They have parenting skills that have probably been forged in fire – if you were a naughty child. It is always a good thing to have your parents close to you when raising your child.
This means three or more different mindsets that work towards the same goal – the appropriate behavior of your children; you can be sure that everything will work out in the end.
Have a Set of Family Rules
Naturally, being a parent implies rules for your children. However, you should start off by making a set of rules for the entire family. You already know this, but a child’s behavior is very influenced by the behavior of their parents – therefore, why should your children respect the rules even you don’t respect?
The first set of rules should be basic – all of the family members have to help around the house; we don’t misplace our things; we speak nicely to people. Of course, as the children grow, you will be adding some rules that will refer only to them and to what are the expectations you have.
This is yet another thing that will make your child more responsible – knowing that he or she is expected to do something, or else there will be consequences. If the child’s room is not clean, while the parents have cleaned theirs, then the parents could cancel a walk in the park just so that the child cleans the room. Simple – look for consequences rather than for punishment.
Scold – But Also Praise!
It’s natural for you to scold your children after they’ve done something bad, didn’t respect the house rules or such other things.
But, next on the list of communication tips you should consider, is the tip that encourages you to praise your children every time they’ve done something good. And you shouldn’t consider the fact that you are angry at them because of something they might have done.
You do so because this will increase their self-esteem and make them more confident. A child whose manners and good behavior are not praised will think that he or she is not doing them the right way, and therefore might develop a feeling of insecurity.
Disciplining your children does not mean you should always be rigid and hard to approach. A stiff parent will grow a stiff child – but also a child that’s introverted and has a hard time approaching children his own age.
School, Preteens, and Teens
Until they get into school, it’s easy to make your children behave appropriately. If you explain them the situation they’re in and why you don’t like what they’ve done every time they’re misbehaving, then you shouldn’t have any issues.
However, once they have homework as well as other responsibilities than those they have at home – your school-aged children and preteens will have a difficult time keeping up with what they are supposed to do.
When your child is in school, a good behavior means that he will try to do everything that he has to do. You could set up a family writing service to help him with one of those things, but it is better just to remind your child of the obligations he or she has.
On the other hand, preteens and teens will give you a hard time as this is the time when your children begin to talk back and have that major attitude even you had once. In this case, it’s better to understand the position they’re in – they are not mad on you and definitely not trying to get you angry; they are just upset that they are not getting everything they want at the moment and get frustrated because of this.
As we mentioned at the beginning of this article, you should have a positive approach to parenting and communicate with your children whenever you can – this will let them know that they can open to you whenever there’s something that troubles them.
Now, if you consider all of these tips, by the time your children get to college, then to University and become students – which is the step just before adulthood -, they will be disciplined, well-behaved, and your relationship with them will be as every parent-child relationship should be.