I came across a presentation by Victor Frankl, talking about what motivates people, our search for meaning and how to achieve our potential.
What an amazing man I love that he took up flying as a mature learner!
I’m reminded of my boss, back when I worked at Eatons during my university years. She used to take me for coffee sometimes, and wed talk about people and leadership. One day, she said Heidi, don’t ever forget that people will live UP TO or DOWN TO your expectations. May as well expect the best from them!
In my own experience, one of university professors had a profound impact on my life just by leaning across the table during my final exam and whispering I expect great things from you http://www.iwasthinking.ca/2007/08/29/about-great-expectations/
It felt like an awful lot of pressure in that particular moment (and I was scared that I wouldn’t achieve great things). But throughout my life, Ive often stopped and checked whether I was living up to my potential if I was doing great things yet? That simple whisper planted a seed for me in a way, it gave me permission to dream or to want more.
With my own children, I often think about that experience. I have to stop sometimes and remind myself not to worry. Its so easy to get caught up in the moment, particularly when things aren’t going so well.
When my middle son was obviously struggling with reading and writing, it was easy to think if we don’t fix this, hell struggle his whole life and school will be horrible and how can he possibly go to college or university When my 12 year old daughter (at the height of being a tween, verging on the edge of being a teenager) has a meltdown about being asked to clean her room, its easy to feel like I have to teach her how to care for her things or shell always be irresponsible, will never look after things. A friend of mine calls this catastophizing falling into the trap of blowing something way out of proportion, thinking that all the worst things will happen.
There is a sense of trust that Ive been cultivating lately trust in myself as a parent, and trust in my children to learn and grow.
For kids to learn how to trust themselves, they need us to remind them that they are capable.
They need us to show them that its okay to make mistakes and learn from them.
They need us to expect good things because its that kind of faith that helps them be their very best selves